compelling results through coaching, training & organizational development

Finding Your MORE

"The pursuit of truth shall set you free - even if you never catch up with it." ~ Clarence Darrow

I have become a great observer of myself and others as we work, strive, cajole and maneuver to find and possess more time, more money, more business, more friends, more stuff and more love in this world. And I wonder, if we desire so much more, how do we know when we have it? How much more is enough more? What exactly is more?

I think the 'more' we are searching for is actually what Judith Wright in her book, There Must Be More Than This, calls the MORE; the divine and authentic in life. Whether you call it God, or Buddha or Spirit or Divine Love - it is that safe, happy, fulfilled and peaceful 'place, space or feeling' that many of us are searching for. We think the next acquisition will be IT, but alas, we feel as empty after the new boat as we did before.

We spend our precious hours attempting to fill this 'emptiness space' by 'fluff'. We shop more, work harder, over-commit, socialize, watch TV, channel surf, check our emails incessantly, internet surf, participate in chat rooms, constantly check our investments, the weather channel, eat, isolate, throw a pity party - anything to NOT focus on what we really feel and what gives true meaning to life. For what purpose are we here? It must be more than acquisition, more than survival.

If we continue to spend our valuable lives being consumed by 'fluff', then it follows that our lives will consist of 'fluff'. As the old song goes, "Is this all there is?" No, there has to be MORE. I ask myself, how am I sharing my gifts with the world? Each of us has gifts by the way and your gifts cannot be shared by anyone other than you, because someone else can't deliver your gifts, just as you can't deliver mine. We each must share what is ours to share with the world.

Putting my coaching hat on, I have the following request:

Make a note of what it is you have been meaning to do (that little project that will take you to next level or that idea that will take some work, but you know is a great idea)

Now make a note of how long you've been ignoring it or not acting on it (like how long have you meaning to meditate?)

Next make a note of what gets in the way. Is the what necessary, really necessary, or is it 'fluff'?

Now list all the 'fluff' you participate in (the fillers, the denials, the things you avoid, the escapes and the busyness)

Even a vacation can be 'fluff' if you need it to escape something. The tip is to take a look at what you need to escape. Correct the situation then you can have a vacation that is fun and educational and not just escape. Chances are what you need to escape is the search for more, not MORE.

Notice when you watch TV, is it for escape or because you can actually grow, learn and laugh from the experience? I bet you're like me and tell yourself, "My brain is mush and I just need to chill", right? We humans can justify anything and justifications really get in the way of the true meaning of life or the MORE.

I've been struggling with my 'fluff' lately when I have a project I need to complete. Notice I said need and not want. For days, I have been putting it on my calendar (which is what I tell my clients to do) and yet I have allowed the 'fluff' to get in the way. I've checked emails, paid bills, sent out cards, wrote newsletters, and read a business book. Yes, some of these were necessary, worthwhile and even meaningful projects in themselves. However, I used them to avoid the project I needed to complete. This project has the potential to take me to another level and it has some fear attached to it.

So after I kick myself in the butt and take charge of my 'stinking thinking', I commit that I will begin the project (which is a way to share my gifts) before this day is done. I'll do what Duke Ellington said, "I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues."

Running from the MORE, means I stay busy 'doing' rather than just 'being' long enough to get in touch with the bigger picture. So to again practice what I preach as a coach, I ask myself "Who do I have to BE to get this project completed?" And the answer is quiet, still, confident, committed, focused and in tune with the divine MORE.

So the second part of my request to you is: Now, set a new intention for yourself. How do you want to live your life? What will aid you in connecting to the real meaning, to finding your true MORE? Who do you have to BE to make this happen? The world is waiting.

Copyright 2003. Judy Irving.

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