compelling results through coaching, training & organizational development

If Prince Charming is Late, Don't Wait

"We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are." The Talmud


When is it we stop complaining and start taking action? Or when do we stop taking action after action and begin to get clarity? Whether it is sitting in a 9 to 5 job which you are totally bored with, a relationship that is not fulfilling or a ‘pity-party’ because there is no relationship. Get a Life!!

Don’t wait for life to come to come to you. Take classes, read books, see a therapist, get a coach, exercise, journal — whatever it takes to shift your attitude and reclaim yourself!

One of the biggest reasons people stay in a job they hate is fear of loss of security. That doesn’t mean you can’t moonlight or take classes in something you love. Something that stirs your passion and gives you joy. It might even turn into a new career!

Sometimes people think they have to have a romantic partner not necessarily because they want one, but because they are ‘nothing’ without one. Having a fulfilling job or a fulfilling relationship does not make you a fulfilled person — it definitely helps, but first you must take responsibility for WHO you are. What does fulfillment mean to you?

There are many times when we are actually ‘driven’ by our needs. For example, my girlfriend is constantly over committing herself. She is committed every day and every night. She has a need to connect (to be a part of, be appreciated, and be social). These are very worthwhile needs until they begin to control her, rather than her controlling them. When they are in the drivers seat, her life is no longer her own. She also has a need for freedom — of which she has none. So these two needs are in a battle. She begins to resent her night after night commitments and becomes agitated, stressed and eventually sick. Sound familiar?

A client has a need to play and also a huge need to be successful. He plays so hard (all in the name of work/play balance) that he has little time to become a master at his chosen career. Another client has a need for creativity and uses this to his advantage in that he is always acting on some great new idea, but he also has a need for financial security. Since he rarely follows through with these ideas to the money-producing stage, he is constantly out of money, worried, stressed and being challenged to use his creativity to put out the latest fire.

It seems logical therefore if we look at our patterns, listen to ourselves (or hire a coach), and wise up as to how often we find ourselves at the same starting gate — we might decide to make different choices.

Is it possible to have freedom and be social? Of course! By saying ‘No’ to those things that are not absolute ‘Yes’s’ and by being totally present when you are with others as opposed to being physically present and mentally absent.

Is it possible to a have balance in work and play? Not by juggling, it isn’t. Only when you prioritize, organize, and simplify. Life doesn’t have to be complicated, to be fun and successful!

Is it possible to be creative and financially secure? Yes. Get yourself an idea file and list every idea so you don’t lose it. They will be there waiting for you when you’re ready. Act only on the one or two that meets the criteria for fulfilling your creative juices AND making you money.

Is it possible to be happy without Prince Charming? Absolutely: Rent yourself a horse, buy a hat and sweep YOURSELF off your feet! When you’re empowered — life has never been sweeter!

Copyright 2002. Judy Irving, all rights reserved. 702-240-1866

Who hires a coach? People who want to reach goals, make changes, solve problems and see possibilities. Those who know they want more in their lives than they are currently experiencing. A coach is a success partner, an advisor, and at times a cheerleader. A coach will hold you accountable so that you can realize and be all that you are meant to be. For a free 30-minute coaching session — email

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