“ Most people will look back and realize they didn’t have a great life because it’s just so easy to settle for a good life.” - Jim Collins, Co-Author of Built to Last
The idea of starting over has been on my mind of recent in part because I was invited to apply for the position of in-house life coach for a new reality series MTV is producing called ‘Starting Over”. The program will feature women who want to ‘start over’ in life or career. Incidentally I did apply, interviewed and was called back for a taping, I will keep you posted as to the progress. Taping will begin in June and the show airs in September.
It’s interesting that this opportunity came to me. I say interesting in that I knew something was on the horizon - I could feel it. Have you ever had that feeling? Then when the opportunity appears, the first inclination may be to say, “No, that’s not for me, or I don’t know anything about that.” Fortunately, the coach in my head said, “Don’t say ‘No’ until after you’ve really evaluated the situation.” I realized I don’t know TV, but I DO know life coaching and one thing is for sure, I have started over many times. I came to coaching through my own evolution from military pilot helicopter trainer to divorced-single mother of two sons, to being a corporate wife and entrepreneur (started three businesses) and then the sudden death of my second husband and the murder of my mother. And each time, even though it didn’t feel like it in the moment, life was always better for the new start.
My own self-discovery and determination to make lemonade out of my own lemons propelled me into the world of coaching. I saw the power of having a skilled, insightful, honest and compassionate person helping me through the forest. So why shouldn’t I apply to share those experiences, my strength, wisdom and coaching tools with the women who want to ‘start over’?
Whether you are a divorced mom beginning the single life, the CEO of a major corporation that just got sacked, you just left bankruptcy court, or you just had your last chemo treatment - starting over is starting over. It is about looking at your choices through new eyes in a new way, reframing the present situation from loss or crisis to: a new day, a new chapter — and being excited about what’s next!
It’s about re-inventing one’s self. And yes it can be both exciting and scary. They both feel the same in the body by the way. Think about it, what does apprehension feel like and what does excitement feel like? It’s what you call the feeling, the name or the label you give it that produces either fear or enthusiasm. It’s a head thing. The glass half full versus half empty.
The key to starting over is willingness. If you don’t genuinely want to improve your life and aren’t willing to do things differently, you can’t grow, so there is no need to start over. You must be willing to raise the bar on yourself. If you want different results, you have to do things differently. Take a risk, learn a new skill, enroll in a class, go after a new job, end a relationship, say “No” or say, “Yes”. It takes willingness, intent, determination and focus.
As Shakespeare said, “The world is but a stage and we are merely the players.” Starting over is about re-writing your role. Creating a life by design versus life by default. You don’t have to accept mediocrity. None of us do. There’s a great line in the book Illusions, “Argue for your limitations and they’re yours”. You are not your limitations, nor your failures.
If you’re going to fail, fail quickly, learn from it, get over it and move on. Life is what you make it. Don’t just settle for a good life, when you can have a great life. Go for it!